Matching is a delicate process that needs a skilled hand. The right or wrong match can make or break an entire journey. After years of experience, Kathryn and Lauri have developed an intuitive sense of what makes a great match. We tend to work a bit differently than other agencies in this area. We do not offer an online database of surrogates and we rarely send out multiple profiles at the same time to unsigned Intended Parents and/or Surrogates. The matching process for us is a very personal one. We are not looking to make ‘best friends’ (although sometimes that happens!) – we are looking to create matches that will result in kind, respectful, friendly surrogacy journeys that will result in a healthy baby and a rewarding experience for all.
We do not offer an online database for a few reasons. The first one is that IPs don’t always know what they are looking for. They may think they do and therefore fall in love with a potential choice on a database due to her age & location, but we find that it works best if someone who has a personal connection with both parties is able to make the match based on similarities and shared views. (what this means is that we’ve spoken with and discussed preferences and wishes with all involved and we are confident that they share a similar view as to what they want their surrogacy journey to be like).
Surrogacy is not like choosing an egg donor, it is not about picking someone who ‘looks good’ or has a stellar educational background. We believe that we are the best, most informed people to tell you about our surrogates – not just through their questionnaires and pictures but based on our personal knowledge of them. And you may not be aware of this, but the surrogate chooses the IPs as well – so if you’re merely choosing through a database, there’s no way to know whether or not that surrogate will even be open to working with you – and that can cause heartache and disappointment for you. And we we our best to help you avoid that. An agency that does more hands on matching helps to alleviate time wasted and hurt feelings.
Another reason we do not have a database is that our surrogates get matched quickly. Perhaps that’s because we screen out many GSs and only accept great surrogates into our program. Many agencies will leave profiles on their databases as ‘false leads’ – just to get you to sign with their company. We think this is unethical. The truth is if we had an online database it would be practically empty, because the minute we get a great surrogate approved though our screening process, she generally matches very quickly. So if we were to put her up on a database, and you were to see her and want to work with her, it’s likely she would already be matched. While other agencies are okay doing this, we are not.
We do not make it a practice of sending out multiple profiles because we do not like the idea of Intended Parents and/or Surrogates ‘competing’ for the best match. If GSs received multiple questionnaires, IPs may feel they have to up the ante to make themselves more desirable. We’ve heard of agencies asking IPs to offer trips or more money just so a GS will choose them over other IPs. We wouldn’t want to be treated this way as IPs, and we can’t imagine that you would either… no one wants to feel less desirable… not the IP nor the GS. It is our goal to humanize the process from the very beginning.
For us, it is about getting to know the Intended Parents as well as the Surrogates and feeling a ‘spark’ as to why they should be matched together. Once an Intended Parent signs with us, that is when we start the matching process, not before. We see no point in parading around surrogates … we find that demeaning, to both the Surrogates and the Intended Parents. In most cases, we send one profile at a time to Intended Parents and their potential Surrogates… and 98% of the time, that is the match they stick with it. We’re pretty proud of that fact and of our track record.